Few years later and 30 something me..

In the last two years I gained a lot of perspective. I am angry. I have always been angry. I found world to be very unjust towards women. I am lonely. I am an only child. I have been through life all by myself. I have shouldered every challenge on my only shoulders. I am exhausted. Being alone and angry sucks. 

What I have realized is, I have been through so much and still managed to be ok. My friends and acquaintances who have had to go through a lot did not react as graciously as I did. I am very tough. Since my childhood, I had to be the one who had to be mature. Since my father was away for work, it was my duty to show the world that I was a matured, sensible, good girl. I feel very burdened by it. I am exhausted. I feel this burden all the time. Its like I can never be the one who has fun, who can be careless, who will be taken care of. 

I had no one to turn to talk or express what I went through for a very long time. I tried to find solace in friends who took advantage of my vulnerability. I was always the one who yearned for a true connection, became the clingy friend, all because I was a lonely kid and an adult. 

Somedays I feel I have a lot of potential, other days I feel worthless. It has been tough two years. I truly know my weaknesses and my strengths. Thirties is a time where the competition is not with others, but with yourself. If I pull through, if I truly understand my potential, I can turn my life around. I hope I truly work on myself to become a more efficient and resilient person. I develop grit. I become the best of what I can be. That would be truly amazing!

The Indian Love Story

Boy meets girl, they fall in love. Religion, caste, parents, society are the villains of this story. The boy and the girl fight all and they stay happily ever after. But wait. Lets rewind and deconstruct what actually happens between the boy and the girl.

The boy meets the girl falls in love with the girl. Woos the girl till she falls in love with him. Then he realizes how much he loves his family his customs and his culture. Or he realizes he cannot hurt his mother and father. So he thinks the girl is expendable. Then he convinces the girl to compromise. He guilt trips her by saying how much he loves his mother and father and that is the only thing (sometimes many) he is asking of her. She compromises thinking she loves him let it be that is the only thing, let me effing comprise, change myself and try to fit into an alien environment for his sake.

Why the hell guys do that ?
If they love their family so much why the hell they don't find a girl that suits his family. Why does he has to fall for a girl and then change her to fit her according to his family needs. Men are effing selfish and self-centered. They want the girl whom they fall in love with but also want the girl to compromise for his family. Why do they think the girls are expendable

Why the girl should marry the boy?
She was minding her own business when this guy fell for her. He promised the world to her. But he changes everything about her. He is completely fine in asking her to compromise. While his life does not change one bit. He wakes in the same bed. He lives with his mommy and daddy. The icing on the cake he gets to live with the girl who he loves

The society is still the same.
Men still think women are expendable. They put their parents in a pedestal and not for even one second think about the woman. She was bought up in the same way they were. She is the apple of  her parents eyes. She is set in her own ways. She is a person. But how easily men priorities.

The fault is with the women.
Yes it is. We have a problem with priorities. We do not keep ourselves in priority. We do not keep our parents in priority.We have a priority problem. However in love we are, ladies remember, if he thinks you are expendable, dump his sorry ass and move on.

Free your mind from the fetters

Mind is the most powerful entity on this planet.Each and every human mind is capable of doing marvelous creation.In my  entire life till date what I have observed is that everyone has slaved their minds to social fetters.We have no doubt been trained to think in some fashion since childhood ..I do not deny the fact it is necessary to start somewhere,but do we have to continue to slave our minds when we have reached a certain age ..say when we are eligible to vote.Time and again I hear "Think out of the box" but how? We need to break these shackles of mind.Start questioning everything.Why we do certain things , why it has to be done in certain manner , why this why that? Do not hesitate to question.Free your mind.It will lead to many unexpected events but it will open the doors of your mind.That is when you will start learning.That is when you start exploring.That is when you will realize true power of the Mind.